It's Raining, It's Pouring, The Thunder Is Roaring
by Jules Ann
Summary: It started with an idea which led to a meeting. What will happen next? How will everyone react? Will it fun or will it become total chaos? Let's see.
1. Chapter 1

**To all my wonderful readers, those who follow and favorite me and or my stories. I am truly sorry I have been slower updating but life has thrown me a few curve balls. I am back though and working on updates for both Sesquicentennial and Angela's Fear which I hope to update very soon, please keep an eye out for them.**

 **This is a short (technically) one shot with Prologue story that the "family" has been wanting me to write for a while. I hope you enjoy.**

 **As always please let me know.**

 **Jules Ann**

* * *

 **Prologue:**

 **Tuesday afternoon, Dr. Cullen's office, Forks Hospital.**

 **Three person conference call.**

"Hi, it's me. I just wanted to let you know they arrived…"

(First person responds)

"No"

(Second person talks)

"I'm not sure, I'm hoping next weekend. What if we tentatively schedule it for Saturday? No I don't see any issues with anything right now."

(Second person talks)

"Sounds good…I'll call if anything changes.

(First person talks)

"Okay…"

(First and second person talk)

"Thank you gentlemen."

(First person talks)

"Good idea, meet me at my office Thursday morning and we can finalize everything. I'll know better if Saturday will still work for us…"

(Frist and second person talk)

"Very good, until Friday."

 **Thursday morning:**

"Dr. Cullen please call extension 3519, Dr. Cullen please call extension 3519," hospital operator announces.

"Thank you for calling Fork's Hospital E.R., Tony speaking."

"Hi Tony, its Dr. Cullen. I was paged?"

"Hi Dr. Cullen, yes your eleven o'clock meeting has arrived."

"Thank you Tony, please tell them I will be there shortly to get them, I am just finishing up with a patient."

"I will. Dr. Cullen I can take them to your office if you would like."

"Thank you, but only if you have time."

"Yes sir I do, it's actually tranquil at this moment."

"Good choice of wording Tony."

 **15 minutes later:**

"Gentlemen"

"Carlisle," they both respond.

"Sorry I kept you waiting."

"That's perfectly okay, patients come first." First man says.

"I agree and please don't worry Carlisle, we're not." Second man adds.

"Thank you. Shall we begin?"

 **45 minutes later:**

"I think we are good, let's say we meet between three and four Saturday afternoon."

"Sounds good," second man says.

"I agree, until Saturday, gentlemen have a good day." First man says.

Meeting ends and the two gentlemen leave.


	2. Chapter 2

**A.N.** I know it's been a while since I updated this story. I am truly sorry, but I have been dealing with some very stubborn vampires, wolves and writer's block. For those who are also reading Sesquicentennial and Angela's Fear I am working on them also. I hope to post new chapters soon.

Thank you so much MW3Addict, my beta and dear friend.

* * *

 **El. POV.**

 **Denali Friday Morning**

"Kids please come down to the living room." I call out.

A few minutes later all the kids are in the living room waiting to find out what I wanted to tell them.

 **C. POV.**

 **Cullen House**

"Peter can you please come to my study, no you are not in trouble son, I just want to talk to you."

Peter heads up and knocks on the door.

"Come in son; let's sit on the couch and talk."

"Is everything okay Uncle Carlisle? Did I do something wrong?"

"Yes everything is fine son; I promise no one is in trouble. I just wanted to let you know Eleazar and Carmen are coming down and let you know if you wish to go back with them it's your choice."

"Do you want me to leave? I thought you said I did nothing wrong? But you called them to get me. I...I…I'm sorry Uncle Carlisle if I did, I didn't mean to, I'll pack and go back…"

I stop him before he finishes as he is getting more and more upset with each word.

"Peter, stop please son. I/we, your Aunt and I love having you here and do not want you to leave. I just wanted to let you know if you want to go back for a while it's your choice. We are enjoying you being here, the kids are loving having their brother/cousin here. I just didn't want you to think the wrong way. Apparently I didn't do a good job, I'm sorry for the wrong impression son."

"No Uncle Carlisle, I'm sorry I jumped to conclusions without listening first. Char and I are enjoying ourselves to and would like to stay a little longer. I know I will head back to Denali at some point but I would like to stay longer."

"We would love that too son."

I hear the front door open and close before a knock on my door.

"Yes Jasper," I call

"Sorry Papa, I didn't realize you had someone in here."

"Don't worry son, I just wanted to catch up with Peter and see how he is doing here."

"Okay Papa, Uncle El called while you were out and said they will be here around six o'clock. He had to go but wants you to call him back. Ali and I are heading out hunting now, but I wanted to make sure to give you the message before I left."

"Thank you son, have fun and be careful.

Jasper?"

"Yes Papa."

"Can you please wait for Peter, we'll be finished shortly and I'll send him out to join you."

 **10 minutes after they leave the house**

I just hang up with Eleazar when Esme comes up to the study.

"Hello Beautiful"

"Hello Dear, is everything okay?"

"Yes, all is set for Saturday. It's planed for around three; hopefully everything goes the way we planned.

 **El. POV.**

 **Denali Friday Morning**

"Kids please come down to the living room." I call out.

A few minutes later all the kids are in the living room waiting to find out what I wanted to tell them.

"As you know I went out of town for a meeting yesterday. I actually went to Forks to meet with Carlisle and Sam."

I see a lot of confused faces staring at me.

"Is everything okay? It's not Peter, he didn't…" Carmen starts when I stop her.

"Peter is fine, doing wonderful in fact and loving his time with them.

Actually Carlisle asked if we could come down for a surprise Saturday afternoon. I was thinking if everyone would like we could go hunting for a few hours before we head down there today. Carlisle offered to send the plane or we could run it, I'll let you decide."

Now I see confusion turning to excitement, I allow everyone a few minutes before I get their attention again.

"Okay everyone, I need to know what to tell Carlisle,

Tanya?"

"Run"

"Kate"

"Run please"

"Irina"

"Run Daddy"

"Carmen"

"Whatever the kids decide I will agree to"

"Garrett"

"Run"

"Okay, I guess we are going for a run today, everyone go get your back packs and cloths to last through Sunday when we return. Meet your Mother and I here in fifteen minutes, we'll hunt as we are running."

 **C. POV**

 **7:30 – 8:00am**

"Hello Denali residence, Kate speaking."

"Hello Kate, how are you?"

"Uncle Carlisle, hi, everyone is doing well. Just getting ready to head to your house. I'll get Daddy for you."

"Thank you Sweetheart."

"Hello Carlisle"

"Eleazar is everything okay?"

"Yes, I just wanted to let you know we just finished telling the kids about the trip. They asked to run down so we are going to hunt on the way there. We should be there between three and five this evening."

"Wonderful, I'll call Sam and have him bring the pack over around six; Esme is planning to make chili for them tonight. We can have the meeting and announce the plans then."

"Sounds like a plan, I'll call you when we are closer."

"Okay, talk to you soon."

"Hello, Cullen residence"

"Peter, hello Son."

"Papa, Como estas y mama?"

"I see you are working on your Spanish. Bien hecho hijo. We are good, is your Uncle home. No Papa, I'm sorry he and Aunt Esme ran to the store, they should be home soon."

"Could you please just let them know that I think we will be there closer to five thirty please?"

Of course, I can't wait to see everyone."

"We can't wait to see you too son. We'll catch up soon."

 **5:40 Doorbell rings**

"I got it," Jasper says.

"Race you?" Peter replies

"You're on."

As they both get to the door they barely stop before slamming into me.

"I'd call it a tie, and don't let your mothers see you doing that again boys.

Eleazar, Carmen come in."

"See what boy's?" Carmen asks as I open the door.

"Nothing Carmen, they were just being boys. Right sons?"

"Yes Papa, yes Uncle Carlisle." They answer in unison.

"Now let's try again, please come in everyone."

"There's been a change in the meeting, we are going to the reservation for around 7, the Tribe is having a meeting and Billy asked if we could come there instead."

 **6:40 Tribal Council Meeting**

 **S. POV.**

"Thank you Chief Black, Elders of the tribe, now that you have heard our thoughts and plans I suggest we take a vote. All in favor please raise your right hand."

Eighteen right hands rose in agreement.

"Passed, thank you everyone. We will have everyone back from time to time and update you on the progress." I say.

"Thank you for coming tonight, meeting adjourned." Chief Black announces.

 **C. POV.**

We arrive to the reservation just as the Tribal Meeting was ending. I see one of my patients and decide to check on her quickly.

"Alyana," I call.

"Dr. Cullen, how are you?"

"I'm fine thank you. I would like you to meet my wife Esme, Brother and Sister in Law Eleazar and Carmen Denali."

Alyana looks at me questioningly so I decide to clarify it.

"Eleazar is my adopted brother."

"Oh, very nice to meet you all. Mrs. Cullen may I say your husband is an angel. I never went to a…pardon me, a white man Dr., but when Chief Black suggested him and we found out how well he treats our Chief I decided to try him. I am so happy I did, he has helped me a lot."

"Speaking of which Alyana, I will be in the clinic this week and want you to come by please. Let's see if we can change your medication dose. I think we may be able to lower it a little. I'll call you when I'm here."

"Thank you Dr. Cullen, I'll see you soon. It's very nice to meet you all." Alyana says.

 **Ed. POV.**

As we are walking towards the hall I notice Alice is slightly behind us. I decided to wait when it hits me, Ali is having a vision. This time I realized I have to not alert anyone until I am sure what it is.

' _Ali what the?'_

' _Please don't say anything; I'm not sure what I saw it correctly'_

' _How did you see it? The pack'_

' _I've been practicing, but you only caught part. The best part. If it's true do you realize what it means?'_

' _Forever'_

' _Forever'_

 **7pm**

"Thank you everyone for coming this evening. I'll make this fairly brief…"

"Carlisle?"

"Yes dear"

"Why don't we let the kids get the chili and eat while you tell them what's going on?"

"Good idea my love, okay, those who have not eaten yet, please go and get your food, but please listen while you are eating.

As you know since our trip we have done several game days at our house. So we, Esme, Eleazar, Carmen and Billy have been talking about other (I air quote) "family friendly, family fun" ideas. We then presented an idea to Sam, who believes this will be fun. What does everyone think about a baseball game?"

I wait a minute as the kids shout and cheer with excitement before I continue.

"Settle down please. Let's go over some basic rules:

1\. It will be mixed teams of Vampires and Wolves.

2\. We will play nine innings or three hours whichever comes first. If we go to the three hours the team with the highest score wins, it it's a tie it's a tie period.

3\. Spouses/mates may choose to be on the same team or different teams, but majority will determine how everyone plays.

All couples who want spouses allowed on the same team please raise your right hand; opposite teams please raise your left hand."

We see all left hands rise up.

"Okay, now if Billy and Esme will join me we can begin drawing teams. As your name is called please come up for your bag. But do not open it until everyone has theirs please."

Now I get all kinds of strange looks.

"I will explain soon. Let's begin:

Managers will be Eleazar for Team "Denali" and myself for Team "Olympics".

First pick is for Pitchers, for "Olympic" Alice, for "Denali" Peter.

Ow for Relief Pitcher, for "Olympic" Leah, for "Denali" Sam…"

This continues until I begin drawing the Cloud Dancing family members, they all gave the same answer, they would rather be relief batters in case we needed one this time.

Once everyone was assigned a team the roster looked as follows:

Catcher: Esme

Umpire: Billy

Team Olympic:

Pitcher: Alice

Relief Pitcher: Leah

First Base: Quil

Second Base: Charlotte

Third Base: Embry

Short Stop: Tanya

Right Fielder: Kate

Center Fielder: Seth

Left Fielder: Emmett

Carmen and Myself batter's only

Team Denali

Pitcher: Peter

Relief Pitcher: Sam

First Base: Paul

Second Base: Garrett

Third Base: Jacob

Short Stop: Edward

Right Fielder: Jared

Center Fielder: Rose

Left Fielder: Irina

Eleazar and Jasper batter's only.

"Okay, I know everyone is anxious to open their bags, but first let me thank Billy, Eleazar and Sam for helping design what you have. Now please open your bags."

We watch their faces light up as they see their new jersey's and baseball hats. They look at the design and see their names over the mountains.

"So as you can see, the design of our "family" plane is on the back of jersey's and hats, with your name instead of numbers. We decided on this as no one person is better than any other here. This does include Billy, Eleazar, Carmen, Esme and Myself as we are the "leaders" of the tribe and family. The other reason no one has a number is if we all enjoy the game teams will be mixed up again, also when Billy decided to play we will choose his "designated runner"."

I see several hands fly up,

"Paul first, then Emmett."

"Uncle Billy I think I can speak for the pack, anyone of us would be happy to run for you."

"Us too Uncle Billy, also we can work with you on batting and how to pitch to you. I…ah…hum…"

"Emmett, what's wrong?" Billy asks.

"I don't want this to sound wrong, or mean, but I know you being in the chair and all adjustments need to be made. We can't throw like we would to the others. But I think I can speak for our side of the family when I say we would love you to play with us."

"Emmett, there was nothing wrong with that and you are correct so thank you. Thank you all and yes I would like to play in the future, after we all work together to figure out how to pitch and bat."

"Now I ask everyone to please try their jersey's on and make sure they are not too small. I can order a larger size if I need to. Also for our wolf children, please do not phase in them unless there is imminent danger."

All the children erupted in cheers and thank you as they continue looking at their uniforms. Some even trying them on there.

"I'm so happy everyone likes their uniforms, okay one last thing before we end this meeting we can either play tomorrow or Tuesday. We are having storms all week so it's your choice.

Left hand for Saturday, Right hand for Tuesday."

As I count a majority of Left hands are up.

"Tomorrow it is, let's plan to meet here at one in the afternoon and we will head to where my family has been playing baseball for a while. I will go over the final rules there, after the game we will all come back here for something to eat and watch a baseball skit that I think everyone will enjoy. Billy has shown it to Esme and me and well I can say we couldn't stop laughing.

So for now…meeting adjourned."

* * *

Papa, Como estas y mama - Papa, How are you and Mama

Bien hecho hijo - Well done Son


	3. Chapter 3

**A.N.** A special thank you to Phoenyx-Fyre-Writer for helping me with this chapter, you are an amazing writer and I am truly blessed to call you my God Sent Friend/Family.

In the last part of this chapter is one of my all-time favorite **Abbott & Costello skits "Who's On First". **I hope you enjoy reading this as much I have writing it. If you are interested in seeing it please go to YouTube and watch the Video **"Who's On First"** by **NYYGehrig** best version I have seen. The script came from the website Baseball Almanac.

* * *

 **Sat. 12:30**

The storms around us are worse than I thought they would be.

"Billy maybe you should stay at the reservation this time," I suggest.

"Carlisle you maybe my Dr., you are my Brother, HOWEVER YOU ARE NOT MY PARENT!" Billy practically screamed.

"Billy, calm down please, or the only place you will be going is to the hospital. I am only suggesting it because the storms are intensifying. I have been watching the Weather Channel and they are talking strong windstorms with a chance of a possible tornado watch occurring today. What if something happens to you? What will the kids think, what will we all think and feel, your family, and your tribe?" I ask gently but firmly

"It's the Will of the Great Spirit, I know you will all hurt, but you will remember I am always here with you." Billy replies simply.

I go to argue again, but am interrupted.

"Carlisle he's set in his way. We need to respect his wishes and need to figure an alternative plan in case we need one," Esme reasons, convincing me to stop trying to change his mind

I reluctantly agree. With the matter dropped we head out to the reservation, to pick up the rest of the group, before heading to the field. While running I continue thinking about what to do, just in case.

Once at the field and before we get started setting up, Eleazar decided to take some 'family photos' and sets up his camera. "Alright everyone, let's gather so we can get some shots before we begin. We'll do each team separately and then everyone together," he decides.

"Excuse me Uncle Eleazar. I can take the group shot is you would like, also some shots during the game so everyone is in them," Tecumseh offers.

"That would be wonderful, thank you," Eleazar replies.

Once we finished the 'formal' shots I say, "all right everyone, let's go over a few things before we begin," I start turning towards Billy. "Firstly, if the storm becomes worse, the sky changes too much, or we say "Grab Him", I would like two of our vampire children to volunteer to grab Billy and get him the fastest and safest way possible. Now I can see some of your faces boys, before our wolf children say anything, we all agree you are very fast. Unfortunately to be your fastest you have to be in wolf form, which would not be safe for Billy, and we don't want any of you feeling hurt or guilty if something happens; so this time I cannot use you to help. I would like one from the Denali family and one from our family please." I now see Tecumseh's hand go up, "T?"

"Sir I would like to volunteer to help also," Tecumseh offers.

"Thank you son, from the Cloud Dancing family Tecumseh, Denali's Garrett, thank you. Peter I also see your hand and thank you, but please do not take this wrong but you are the youngest vegetarian. We want to think of both Billy and your safety first. However this does not mean you or anyone near him cannot help if you are closest. Just yell, "I have him" so we know someone does. From the Cullen family, Emmett thank you," I smile at my large extended family happy with their pulling together to help one of our members.

Emmett grins, "don't worry Uncle Billy, I've got your back."

I shake my head at Emmett's perpetual humor and clear my throat, "now for the rules;

1.) Absolutely No Cheating! Esme and Billy calls are final word on all plays.

2.) The three strikes you're out rule applies.

3.) For our shape shifting family, you must decide if you want to play your positions if human or wolf forms. No changing unless you are up to bat."

"Dad can we bat in wolf form?" Jacob asks half serious, half joking.

Everyone chuckles for a moment before I say, "that's completely up to you son. I'm just not sure how well that will go though. If you can come up with a way to do it then credit to you."

Now we all start to chuckle again.

"Okay now continuing with the rules,

4.) Pitchers will not purposely try and hit a player with the ball.

5.) Lastly, this is just a family friendly game. No one will start a fight if their team is not winning and absolutely no side betting will occur." I say this last rule looking at our sons, "any questions?"

No one raises his or her hands.

"Okay, let's play ball," I announce.

"Excuse me before we begin I would like to add one more thing to your Father/Uncle's rules. No swearing," Esme says looking towards our boys. "The first cuss word I hear that player forfeits their turn in the game and answers to me." She finishes.

We all divide up into our teams, before Eleazar and I walk over to home base where Billy and Esme are.

Billy takes out a quarter.

"Eleazar as you are technically visiting team you can choose first choice or coin call," Esme offers.

"I'll pick coin call," Eleazar answers.

"Okay Carlisle, first at bat or first pitch?" Billy asks.

"We'll take first bat," I decide.

"Okay, if Denali's win the toss Denali's first bat; if Carlisle wins toss Olympian bats first. Billy please toss, Eleazar please call," Esme announces.

As Billy tosses it up, Eleazar calls, "tails."

We all divide up and choose batting order, once we have it chosen we tell Billy before we take our positions.

Team Denali / Team Olympic

Irina / Carmen

Jacob / Carlisle

Rose / Embry

Jared / Quil

Garrett / Leah

Eleazar / Kate

Jasper / Seth

Edward / Tanya

Sam / Emmett

Paul / Charlotte

Peter / Alice

Once we are all set, Billy announces one last time, "PLAY BALL."

The first three innings go without a problem. Everyone seems to be having fun. As we come up to our turn in the fourth inning Leah seems to look worried. "Little one what's wrong?" I ask.

"Can I skip my turn Daddy?" Leah asks sadly.

"Are you feeling okay?" I question worriedly.

"Yes, it's just I don't want to be the reason we lose, I've already struck us out once," Leah admits sounding defeated.

"Then nonsense and no, little one this is just for fun. No one will make fun of anyone because of how they play. All we ask is you try your best, okay?" I remind her.

"Okay Daddy, I'll try," Leah agrees.

I'm not sure what I said but as she hit the ball it flew deep in the woods. She not only got on second base, she brought Quil and Embry in, our score was now Denali's 4, Olympian's 3, Seth was up next and ended up on base as well but got hit by ball on his leg.

"Oh man, Seth I'm sorry I didn't…" Peter starts as he flashes over to Seth.

Seth stops him saying, "hey, relax Peter, I know. I moved when I shouldn't have, I thought I could bunt it. It's no one's fault, it was an accident that's all."

"But Uncle Carlisle…" Peter begins again.

"Also knows it was accidental son. I didn't see any ill will in the pitch. No one is in trouble. Let's play on. Seth first base please."

I can still see Peter is worried so I get Eleazar and we go over to reassure him before we continue.

Tanya also gets on base before Emmett strikes us out.

"Time out," I call between innings four and five. "Ali can you please check the weather for the next few innings."

"We should be good a little longer Daddy," Alice replies.

Right to her word we are good until the top of the eighth inning. Our score is now tied ten to ten when Peter comes up to bat.

' _Father'_ I hear Edward calling mentally. I look over and see Alice go into a trance. I look back at Edward, who is now yelling out loud, "GRAB HIM!"

"I got him," Peter says, continuing with, "Major please grab his chair." Without thought Peter crouches down in front of Billy and says, "Uncle Billy wrap your hands around my neck and hold tightly. I'll do the rest." As fast and as safely as he could Peter lifts Billy out of his chair, "I've got him!" He yells again as he takes off towards the reservation. Once there, and while waiting for us, he puts his Uncle on the couch. Something none of us realized, until we got back, is that Billy's cut on his hand had opened up again.

As walk in I see Peter rewrapping it before he senses us, he then crouches down in front of him, eyes now dark and a soft warning growl coming from him.

"Peter back away from him," I command.

Peter ignores me and continues to growl warningly.

I realize he is not ignoring me on purpose. I now sense what is going on. I turn towards Jasper who is projecting what is happening to me. "I understand son, please pull it back now."

"Peter, this is Dr. Cullen speaking. Your Uncle Carlisle." I now see him starting to process my words. "I am not here to harm him; I want to check his wound. Please let me look at him. Son, I promise no one is in trouble here. You will not be punished for protecting you Uncle; it's our instinct that kicked in a different way. You did wonderful my son and I am so proud of you."

Peter finally allows me access to Billy and I go over to check his hand, Peter did an amazing job wrapping it and not harming his Human Uncle.

"Carlisle I'm fine, really I am. Peter took great care of me. I think he just got startled when he realized more vampires and wolves were coming near. He meant no harm to me," Billy says.

"I see that," I start before turning back toward Peter. "Son, your Uncle is correct you did a wonderful job protecting and helping him. Please accept my apology."

Peter looks devastated but his head snaps up "For what? Uncle Carlisle you've done nothing wrong sir. I did, I broke your first family rule. I…I…"

I stop him as he becomes worked up, "you've done nothing wrong. You did not growl to threaten us, but warn us that you would protect him. You thought we would harm him. I cannot fault any of my family for that. I should have given you more credit to your ability. I should have trusted you more. For this I am truly sorry. You not only took extra care of your Uncle Billy, but also made sure to remind us about his chair. I think I can speak for your Aunt Esme as well as myself when I say thank you and great job Peter."

"Your Mother and I feel the same," Eleazar adds.

"And the tribe and wolves," adds Sam.

"Peter," Billy says.

"Yes," Peter replies his tone still slightly unsure.

"I cannot thank you enough myself, you put my safety and wellbeing ahead of your natural instincts. I am honored to call you as my nephew," Billy tells him

"Thank you Uncle Billy. I would like to hug you, but now feel I am safer here. Well until the wound stops seeping," Peter replies grinning once more.

45 Minutes Later:

"Alright if everyone could have a seat please," I call out. After everyone is seated I continue. "As you can tell the storms are getting worse so I would like you to vote if you want to try watching the video today or wait."

Everyone voted to try watching it tonight. We put the DVD in and hit play:

Abbott: Well Costello, I'm going to New York with you. You know Bucky Harris, the Yankee's manager, gave me a job as coach for as long as you're on the team.

Costello: Look Abbott, if you're the coach, you must know all the players.

Abbott: I certainly do.

Costello: Well you know I've never met the guys. So you'll have to tell me their names, and then I'll know who's playing on the team.

Abbott: Oh, I'll tell you their names, but you know it seems to me they give these ball players now-a-days very peculiar names.

Costello: You mean funny names?

Abbott: Strange names, pet names...like Dizzy Dean...

Costello: His brother Daffy.

Abbott: Daffy Dean...

Costello: And their French cousin.

Abbott: French?

Costello: Goofè.

Abbott: Goofè Dean. Well, let's see, we have on the bags, Who's on first, What's on second, I Don't Know is on third...

Costello: That's what I want to find out.

Abbott: I say Who's on first, What's on second, I Don't Know's on third.

Costello: Are you the manager?

Abbott: Yes.

Costello: You gonna be the coach too?

Abbott: Yes.

Costello: And you don't know the fellows' names?

Abbott: Well I should.

Costello: Well then who's on first?

Abbott: Yes.

Costello: I mean the fellow's name.

Abbott: Who.

Costello: The guy on first.

Abbott: Who.

Costello: The first baseman.

Abbott: Who.

Costello: The guy playing...

Abbott: Who is on first!

Costello: I'm asking YOU who's on first.

Abbott: That's the man's name.

Costello: That's who's name?

Abbott: Yes.

Costello: Well go ahead and tell me.

Abbott: That's it.

Costello: That's who?

Abbott: Yes.

PAUSE

Costello: Look, you gotta first baseman?

Abbott: Certainly.

Costello: Who's playing first?

Abbott: That's right.

Costello: When you pay off the first baseman every month, who gets the money?

Abbott: Every dollar of it.

Costello: All I'm trying to find out is the fellow's name on first base.

Abbott: Who.

Costello: The guy that gets…

Abbott: That's it.

Costello: Who gets the money…

Abbott: He does, every dollar. Sometimes his wife comes down and collects it.

Costello: Who's wife?

Abbott: Yes.

PAUSE

Abbott: What's wrong with that?

Costello: Look, all I wanna know is when you sign up the first baseman, how does he sign his name?

Abbott: Who.

Costello: The guy.

Abbott: Who.

Costello: How does he sign…

Abbott: That's how he signs it.

Costello: Who?

Abbott: Yes.

PAUSE

Costello: All I'm trying to find out is what's the guy's name on first base.

Abbott: No. What is on second base.

Costello: I'm not asking you who's on second.

Abbott: Who's on first.

Costello: One base at a time!

Abbott: Well, don't change the players around.

Costello: I'm not changing nobody!

Abbott: Take it easy, buddy.

Costello: I'm only asking you, who's the guy on first base?

Abbott: That's right.

Costello: Ok.

Abbott: All right.

PAUSE

Costello: What's the guy's name on first base?

Abbott: No. What is on second.

Costello: I'm not asking you who's on second.

Abbott: Who's on first.

Costello: I don't know.

Abbott: He's on third, we're not talking about him.

Costello: Now how did I get on third base?

Abbott: Why you mentioned his name.

Costello: If I mentioned the third baseman's name, who did I say is playing third?

Abbott: No. Who's playing first.

Costello: What's on first?

Abbott: What's on second.

Costello: I don't know.

Abbott: He's on third.

Costello: There I go, back on third again!

PAUSE

Costello: Would you just stay on third base and don't go off it.

Abbott: All right, what do you want to know?

Costello: Now who's playing third base?

Abbott: Why do you insist on putting Who on third base?

Costello: What am I putting on third.

Abbott: No. What is on second.

Costello: You don't want who on second?

Abbott: Who is on first.

Costello: I don't know.

Abbott & Costello Together: Third base!

PAUSE

Costello: Look, you gotta outfield?

Abbott: Sure.

Costello: The left fielder's name?

Abbott: Why.

Costello: I just thought I'd ask you.

Abbott: Well, I just thought I'd tell ya.

Costello: Then tell me who's playing left field.

Abbott: Who's playing first.

Costello: I'm not... stay out of the infield! I want to know what's the guy's name in left field?

Abbott: No, What is on second.

Costello: I'm not asking you who's on second.

Abbott: Who's on first!

Costello: I don't know.

Abbott & Costello Together: Third base!

PAUSE

Costello: The left fielder's name?

Abbott: Why.

Costello: Because!

Abbott: Oh, he's centerfield.

PAUSE

Costello: Look, You gotta pitcher on this team?

Abbott: Sure.

Costello: The pitcher's name?

Abbott: Tomorrow.

Costello: You don't want to tell me today?

Abbott: I'm telling you now.

Costello: Then go ahead.

Abbott: Tomorrow!

Costello: What time?

Abbott: What time what?

Costello: What time tomorrow are you gonna tell me who's pitching?

Abbott: Now listen. Who is not pitching.

Costello: I'll break your arm, you say who's on first! I want to know what's the pitcher's name?

Abbott: What's on second.

Costello: I don't know.

Abbott & Costello Together: Third base!

PAUSE

Costello: Gotta a catcher?

Abbott: Certainly.

Costello: The catcher's name?

Abbott: Today.

Costello: Today, and tomorrow's pitching.

Abbott: Now you've got it.

Costello: All we got is a couple of days on the team.

PAUSE

Costello: You know I'm a catcher too.

Abbott: So they tell me.

Costello: I get behind the plate to do some fancy catching, Tomorrow's pitching on my team and a heavy hitter gets up. Now the heavy hitter bunts the ball. When he bunts the ball, me, being a good catcher, I'm gonna throw the guy out at first base. So I pick up the ball and throw it to who?

Abbott: Now that's the first thing you've said right.

Costello: I don't even know what I'm talking about!

PAUSE

Abbott: That's all you have to do.

Costello: Is to throw the ball to first base.

Abbott: Yes!

Costello: Now who's got it?

Abbott: Naturally.

PAUSE

Costello: Look, if I throw the ball to first base, somebody's gotta get it. Now who has it?

Abbott: Naturally.

Costello: Who?

Abbott: Naturally.

Costello: Naturally?

Abbott: Naturally.

Costello: So I pick up the ball and I throw it to Naturally.

Abbott: No you don't, you throw the ball to Who.

Costello: Naturally.

Abbott: That's different.

Costello: That's what I said.

Abbott: You're not saying it…

Costello: I throw the ball to Naturally.

Abbott: You throw it to Who.

Costello: Naturally.

Abbott: That's it.

Costello: That's what I said!

Abbott: You ask me.

Costello: I throw the ball to who?

Abbott: Naturally.

Costello: Now you ask me.

Abbott: You throw the ball to Who?

Costello: Naturally.

Abbott: That's it.

Costello: Same as you! Same as YOU! I throw the ball to who. Whoever it is drops the ball and the guy runs to second. Who picks up the ball and throws it to What. What throws it to I Don't Know. I Don't Know throws it back to Tomorrow, Triple play. Another guy gets up and hits a long fly ball to Because. Why? I don't know! He's on third and I don't give a darn!

Abbott: What?

Costello: I said I don't give a darn!

Abbott: Oh, that's our shortstop.

As we watch the video and everyone is erupting into laughter I think about our day. The fun we all had the family bond that grew even stronger between all of us. I know now we will be planning more days like this in the future.


End file.
